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Why your why matters with ADHD.

Have I mentioned how much I love podcasts?

Especially Mel Robbins.

They’re my go-to for learning while I’m walking the dog, driving the boys around or doing the housework (makes it slightly more bearable).

I was listening to one of her recent episodes last week and it came at exactly the right time *chef’s kiss*.

Because if I’m honest, I’ve been finding it hard to show up online.

Not chatting to people and building relationships – I LOVE that part 💛
But the pressure to make everything polished and written in a certain way… especially for social.

And somewhere along the way, it all started to feel a bit… flat. A bit performative. And ultimately, quite draining.

That’s when I realised I’d lost sight of my why.

Why motivation can feel so hard with ADHD

A lot of the advice we hear about productivity assumes something quite simple: If it’s important, you’ll do it.

But if you have ADHD, you’ll know that often isn’t how it works.

It’s not that things don’t matter.
It’s that your brain doesn’t automatically activate just because they matter.

Instead, many ADHD brains are driven more by interest than importance.

So your brain is quietly asking:

  • Is this interesting?
  • Does it mean something to me?
  • Is there any urgency or challenge here?

And if the answer is no… it can feel incredibly hard to get started. Even when you want to.

That’s not a lack of effort or discipline.
It’s a difference in how motivation works.

What’s actually happening in your brain

Part of this comes down to dopamine.

Dopamine helps with motivation, focus and getting started on tasks. And with ADHD, it’s not always as available or regulated as it needs to be.

So when something feels routine, repetitive or disconnected from anything meaningful, our brain doesn’t get much of a signal to engage.

That’s why we can find ourselves stuck on something important, but completely absorbed in something that’s interesting (even if it’s not the priority – hello TikTok fridge restocks).

Why your “why” makes such a difference

This is where your why comes in.

When something connects to a reason that feels personal – something that matters to you, reflects your values or links to how you see yourself – it creates a different kind of energy.

And that shift, although sometimes small, can be enough to unlock movement.

It also gives you something to come back to on the days when your energy is low – which, if you have ADHD, you’ll know really matters.

(If energy plays a big part for you, this might help too: ADHD friendly ways to protect your energy)

A simple framework that can help: P.I.N.C.H.

Whilst looking into this more (and trying not to get myself in a pickle with all the “why the why matters” thinking 😅), I came across the P.I.N.C.H. framework. It’s similar to the N.I.C.E. framework I’ve shared before, but with an added focus on passion and play.

It’s designed to help activate motivation by tapping into what your brain naturally responds to:

P – Passion & Play
Does this connect to something you care about or enjoy?

I – Interest
Is there something here that naturally draws you in?

N – Novelty
Can you make it feel new or different in some way?

C – Challenge
Is there something to solve, stretch into or figure out? Or some sort of competition?

H – Hurry (Urgency)
Is there a time element that creates momentum?

Bringing your “why” into everyday tasks

This doesn’t have to be big or life-changing.

It can be small, but intentional.

For example:

  • Admin might feel pointless… until you connect it to having more breathing space later
  • Exercise might feel like a chore… until you link it to your energy or mood
  • A work task might feel draining… until you connect it to the kind of colleague or leader you want to be

You’re not trying to trick your brain.

You’re helping it find a reason to engage.

Finding your “why”

If something’s been hard to start, you don’t need to push harder.

It can be more helpful to pause and ask:

  • Why does this matter to me?
  • What does this connect to in my life?
  • How is it aligned to my values?
  • Who does this help (including me)?

It’s often easy to identify the benefits of doing something but the why is usually deeper and can sometimes a bit buried.

If it isn’t coming to mind, the Five Whys can help. It’s a simple technique where you keep asking “Why?” to get closer to the reason underneath.

And if there isn’t a “why”?

Sometimes there genuinely isn’t one.

And that’s useful information too.

Because it gives you a chance to ask:

  • Does this actually need to be done?
  • Can it be simplified or shared?
  • Is there a different way to approach it?

Working with your brain isn’t just about motivation.
It’s also about giving yourself permission to let go of stuff too.

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