When stopping feels harder than going...especially with ADHD
You finally stop working… and your brain speeds up.
Ideas start popping in.
Things you forgot.
Things you should be doing (I hate that word – it’s so loaded, and yet I still find myself using it all the time).
If you’ve got ADHD, this will probably feel familiar.
Because the challenge isn’t always knowing when to stop. It’s what happens when you do.
Why switching off doesn’t really work
Even when we step away from work, our brain doesn’t always follow.
It keeps going in the background – replaying conversations, jumping ahead to what’s next, trying to stay on top of everything at once. And if you’re leading, running a business, or just holding a lot in life, there often isn’t a clear moment where someone says, “that’s enough for today”.
So we keep going.
And after a while, you start to feel it. Not necessarily in a dramatic way – just a bit more tired than usual, a bit more on edge, things taking more effort than they should.
Why traditional rest doesn’t work for ADHD brains
A lot of the advice around rest sounds simple on paper.
“Just sit down.”
“Do nothing.”
“Switch off.”
But if you’ve ever tried that with an ADHD brain, you’ll know it’s rarely that straightforward.
You might be physically still, but your mind is anything but. And instead of feeling rested, you end up feeling slightly agitated – or guilty – because your brain is still running through everything you could or should (there’s that pesky word again) be doing.
What I noticed when I stopped trying to switch off
I had a few days off over Easter. A change of pace, some time away from work, and a bit more space than usual.
I didn’t switch off completely – I don’t think I ever really do. But I did notice that when my attention moved away from work and into something else, things started to feel different.
Quieter, in a way that’s hard to describe.
Less intense.
Like I wasn’t carrying everything at once.
And that made a difference.
The shift that changed how I think about rest
What I’m starting to understand is this:
Rest doesn’t have to mean stopping altogether.
For a lot of us, it’s more about shifting our attention. Giving our brain something else to land on so it can ease off the constant mental load. Rather than trying to force it to go completely quiet.
That might sound like a small difference, but it’s changed how I think about rest completely.
What “active rest” can look like in real life
There’s no perfect version of this, and it will look different for everyone.
For some people, it’s doing something repetitive or absorbing – something that gives your brain just enough structure to settle. For others, it’s getting stuck into something simple like cooking, being outside or pottering around without a particular goal.
Sometimes it’s moving your body, especially if you’ve got that restless energy that builds up over the day.
The common thread is that your brain is still active – it’s just not focused on pressure, deadlines, or everything you haven’t done yet.
When rest doesn’t work, everything feels harder
If you’re constantly trying to “switch off” and it never quite works, it makes sense that you feel tired.
That things feel heavier.
Harder to start.
Harder to stay on top of.
That’s not you failing at rest.
It’s just that the version of rest you’ve been trying to follow doesn’t really fit how your brain works.
A question to leave you with
What does rest that actually works for your brain look like right now?
Not what you think it should look like. But what genuinely helps you feel a bit more like yourself again.
If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you. Just drop me an email at liz@thegoodspace.uk
Liz 💛